Tuesday, 23 April 2013

so what is this work about?, why do i keep making it?, why have my shows been so sporadic?


I have just been through a making art- as- a- business seminar last weekend. It was fantastic. I am taking stock of my life and the work, and my life related to the work. Conclusions (so far): I seem to have fallen into alot of self propelled 'traps' about these three questions. My brain is in a fog about them. My intention in life is to do what I love. This is true, answering the "why do I keep making it" question. I have known this since I was 3 years old, but did not fully get the bug until my art school years. They were challenging, exhilarating, inspiring, dangerous madness. wow. That was the drug, the fix that i wanted, the addiction that I feared.   I got so deeply addicted to the process that the real world vanished. I had worked my way out of my mind and body, set adrift from the realities of being a functioning business minded being. I lost my way. I tried a few times to escape the pain of this loss to no avail - I tried to stop thinking about and making work. It didn't work. I discovered that it was in my blood by then, and my mind had other plans. There was a deep space rocket, and my mind was on  it. Life after art school was in disarray. It still kind of is in terms of art making, not so much in terms of day-to-day, but even that has its' moments. .   .   My latest body of large work came with the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. It has been my clearest thinking body of work. It has dredged the past, present, and future. I had utilized ideas that were sitting alone for 20+ years at times. So "what the hell is this work about?" The short answer is this: Birth.Creation. Spirit. Channeling. Evolution. A relationship with my body to the landscape and to technology. I am one with concerns for many, for earth, for harmony, for LOVE sweet love.
about the sporadic shows = a scattered mind i think, i find.
It is true, I chose to live in a cave, make work, and find safety there.
Now, I realize that it has become far more dangerous than safe.

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